Learning how to love myself

I blog because I need to get it out of my system. Hopefully when I look back at this a few days from now, I'll think it's really silly. -//-

How fragile are relationships. Once again, my theory of bf vs. gf is proven true. This isn't only about miscommunication; it's about no communication. It isn't only about assuming; it's about not caring. Sure I can be understanding (as I have already been); but it hurts to know I don't even deserve a phone call. Did I even pop into your mind as you were eating? having fun? stuck in traffic? I never imagined things could turn out this way; but I should have guessed you had very different prioritities from the last time we spoke. I trust and love you but I don't appreciate the way you've handled matters this time round. I felt you don't care; and I don't matter. -//-

Past few weeks have been crazy with family and friends visiting. Spoke with a friend today and he said, "On the bright side, at least you're loved by so many people." Ironically, too much love at the same time can hurt. I didn't enjoy the noble task of looking after everyone's needs and schedules - only finding out at the end that nobody really cares about me, how I feel, and the sacrifices and information I need to make to make things work for them. I really need to learn to love myself.