Getting wiser - Day 2

Day 2 saw a spew of blood-tinted saliva on my pillowcase. Yucks. The effect of anaesthesia, a swollen cheek and leaking saliva.

But on the brighter side of things, I actually survived Day 2 without painkillers! It has to be a combination of one or more of these factors: (1) a wonderful God, (2) a wonderful highly skilled surgeon, (3) wonderfully high platelet count, (4) wonderfully high threshold of pain.

In any case, given that I'm not as 'impaired' as I imagined I would be (I mean just think about sawing bones, cutting gums, drilling teeth...it ain't pretty right?) - I got around to thinking about loads of stuff today. One of which was about life and career etc.

It dawned upon me that the notion that one can do anything is clearly liberating. But life without constraints has also proved a recipe for endless searching, endless questioning of aspirations. It has made our generation obsessed with self-development but eventually, living is as much about closing possibilities as it is about creating them.

I came up with the 3 things important to job satisfaction in a job:

1) Clear relationship between effort and reward
2) Complexity/ Steep learning curve
3) Autonomy

Do you agree? Do you not? Am I missing anything?

Not so 'wise' anymore - Day 1

Since it's not everyday that we move wisdom tooth, I decided to blog abt it. I had watched crazy videos about it on youtube:

So I kinda knew what I was getting in to, only the night before the surgery. Thankfully, my experience was quite ok. AT LEAST FOR NOW since I'm still numb. I changed my appt from 9am to 2pm so I could go stuff myself full and not have to eat dinner after the operation. That didn't know our and thank God for friends like Ger who brought me preserved egg porridge!~ :-)

Anyway, I got to the clinic. First, I was pasted with stickers that monitored the heart beat, blood pressure etc. then they used a (strawberry flavored!) gel to numb the gums. Then I was sedated via jabs to the right hand. That one was a little painful when Dr. Elliot tried to inject the anaesthetic. However, my hand soon got swollen as she found out that the anaesthetic was going into other veins and not the main one (!!!), and I got ANOTHER jab this time on my right inner wrist. GrRrRr... anyway, I almost don't know what happened because I don't recall them asking me to open my mouth or to tell me that they were going to inject the anaesthetic into my gums...I must have already been konked out.

By the time I regained consciousness (yes, I must have zonked out since I don't remember my inquisitive mind asking them any question about what they were doing..LOL), I heard some funny sounds (drilling? / sewing?) and I was told that my surgery was completed. Crazy fast - like 40mins or something.

Dr. Elliot had a SAW ...apparently she does facial reconstruction at Mount E - which was why Dr. Lee Hsien Loong recommended me to her. :-) For the top dollars I was paying, I must say she did a great job! :) at least for now. Post surgery, I was able to eat an egg tart, and also finish Ger's porridge. =) The bleeding has also stopped/ lessened. Good job, Platelets!

I was told the pain and swelling will probably set in on the 2nd day... so I'll write tomorrow and we'll see! :) I guess when you SAW THROUGH A BONE, RIP OPEN GUMS and DRILL THROUGH TEETH, it would be unbelievable to believe that there's no pain! :(

Serendipitous Coalescence of Fate

I met Mr. K today in a "Serendipitous coalescence of fate" (as he puts it), who taught me many things.

1. Be audacious
   
2. Build bridges, not walls
   
   
3. You don't always have to be right
4. Do your homework
   
   
5. Find common grounds
   
   
6. Don't be contaminated
   
   
7. Think creative and invest early
   
   
8. Think long term
   
   
9. You reap what you sow
   
   
10. Stand tall and look far from your rubble of failures
11. Enjoy life and take time to recharge
    
    

And then I saw all these lessons repeated on this really incredible blog. WOW. You really have to go check this blog out.

On Eulogies

I've sometimes wondered How I would die. Scary, I know. And I have an almost eerie track record of predicting the inevitable. As a kid, my prayers always ended off with, "Dear God, please don't let an Aedes mosquito sting me tonight so I won't die of dengue fever". That was about the worst way I knew of dying as an eight-year old. I ended up mistaking my dengue fever in 2006 as an exam fever.

These days, of course, I've learned countless new ways of dying. My car accident in Los Angeles was one such reminder. So were the bombs in Mumbai, the floods I swam in, the riots metres from me, and the armed stalker in D.C.

Perhaps too much of self-help literature and philosophy have gotten to me that I have always found the greatest lessons in Eulogies, or of books related to dying. Think "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "The Last Lecture". The best way to live is when you've learned to die. Of course no one really knows what it's like - but just imagine how much more passionate and vivacious one's day would be if one knew Today's It.

I just spent nearly an hour pouring through Mrs. Lee's eulogies. I left feeling deeply saddened that we have lost her. Our lives have not crossed up till now. Yet it's proof that if someone can make an impact when she's not around, just think about the opportunity right here, right now to make an impact when you're still alive.

Some takeaways: always be there for your spouse and children, shine bright, live humbly, treat people with kindness, work hard - yet know that work isn't everything, make time to write letters, read widely, smile often, develop intuition, think long-term, make a difference.

I've sometimes wondered How I would die. But I guess the better question is, How would I live.

My World's #1 Jiemei! ^_^

A good life means sharing the good times...

the bad times and also the silly times...

You're my #1 Jiemei! Thank you for all that you are, and have been. Patience, creativity, voice of reason, the big brain... Couldn't have asked for more. Sworn!! See what you're missing??? We miss you!!!

Beautiful people

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

It is really the most heartfelt sharing that really bonds the soul and uplifts the spirit. Tough times reveal the most beautiful spirits and genuine hearts. I'm so glad old friends are here to keep each other grounded and real. :)

The Bet

Hi Chris: Please help me win a $10 bet with Z. I bet her that the first guy who takes her to lunch in SIN (where she begins Aug 10) will hold her chair as she sits. She says no way any guy in Asia will do that (only Americans!) but I am sure she is wrong. Please take her to lunch the first day, hold her chair for her, and I will split the $10 with you. Many thanks, Paul

Paul won the bet. :) How not to when he's the vice-chairman of the company and industry heavyweight? But to have someone so senior do this - it sometimes makes me think I made the right choice when I chose to leave SG. Anyway... I think I wasn't supposed to deface the bill...oops. -_-'''

Becoming an analyst

So...an article was written today... about my job.

"What qualifies university psychology majors, Fulbright scholars or students of medieval history to be part of Co. C? For one thing, they need to be exceptional at their endeavors.

Today, Co. C recruits globally and reviews several thousand resumés annually (for just 5 spots).

How are “smart” candidates identified? Of course, they must be accomplished academically, from a very young age. But that’s just one of many criteria.

“We look for super-curious people who are always exploring new things,” says Will. “We also want them to have strong, demonstrated problem-solving skills. Overall, we’re looking for those who are exceptional and have potential to be long-term contributors, but don’t know exactly what they want to do."

But ... I'm not sure if it's that straightforward as proving your worth as a long-term contributor. I'm feeling so lonely in SF now. This is just Day 3 of a 1 week business trip and I can almost hardly bear it. Maybe it's the dinner too - I hate eating alone. Wenwen told me, "You should not become an analyst, I think it is lonely". I agree.

Stars and Planets out there

A good buddy of mine said this to me today, in the context of a conversation where we were talking about just how uncannily similar we were -

"I have the crazy stamina perhaps for running/outdoors sports...you have the intensity and focus that I could only dream for...you work hard at working/studying....I work extremely hard at trying not to work...so the roots of our energies are similar, but their manifestations, starkly different. If you are from Venus, then I am from Mars. But we are both out there."

I thought it was really elegant. And I'm posting this as a reminder to myself that this is one thing (friend) I'll miss when I have to leave in 2 weeks... But at least something good's come out of these 2 years!

"The stars are out there for a reason, however. To remind us that it is not about us, it is about them...we are inconsequential in the larger scheme of things. So strive to be happy in the moment, and cherish the good times we do have right now:)"

When one door closes,

at least another opens. Or maybe if you look hard enough, a window opens. Hopefully, a window of opportunity? Sometimes you just can't be greedy. You have to say no to things/ people that don't matter, so that you can say yes to those that do.

Just half a month more and I will have to say byebye to the USA...time really flies... I'm feeling nostalgic already!

Fishy Business

There are few things left in SoCal that I want to do before I leave. One of them is to go deep sea fishing, the other is to learn surfing. So last Sunday, I decided to seize the moment and go fishing, even though that meant waking up at 4am (!!!). To put things in context, I had only arrived home at 2am the same morning when I drove to Hearst Castle.

But I know I'll shoot myself on the foot for being sluggish in bed, so I woke up and drove at a speed of 95miles/hour (150km/hr lol) to get to the boat before it took off. Of course, I ended up being really early!

Before the entire fishing trip even started, there must have been thousands of fish on our boat - all live bait transferred from another floating bait boat. (very cool! and you should have seen the birds go crazy!)

It was my first time handling live bait (or actually, even fishing!) and I just love these steep learning curve opportunities! Everything was new from learning how to set up the rods to knowing how to catch a bait, to knowing where to poke the bait so it'd stay alive, to casting the line, to reeling the line in...it was a blast!

Thank God for Jacob - a retired Israeli who taught me how to fish... He was SOOOO SUPER PRO! He ended up winning the jackpot for "Biggest Catch of the Day" and later gave me 4 of his amazing sea bass!!! (so I could bring them home and cook them! hehe)

After the trip (6am-11.30am), Jason and I checked out the Dana Point Harbor and it didn't take us too long to figure out that we had to refrigerate our catch! So...we did something quite, quite creative in my view - see below! Lol! Really C&G mann...Cheap & Good!

Once our fishy fishes were taken care of, we decided to check out San Juan Capistrano, which I have heard of since Oct 2008 when I first started work in Irvine.

It was one of many (29?) missions in California in the early years, but is the only one (and the most beautiful one of all!) in Orange County. You can easily see why -

All these breathtaking beauty aside, here's some....gore once I got home.

Again, I've also NEVER gutted a fish. It's so crazy thinking of how moments ago it was just swimming in the sea, then it got caught, and now it's getting de-scaled and gutted. Being so new (I know, I know...) to it, I emulated what I saw on the boat (the crew were charging $1 per fish to fillet it) and watched some YouTube videos (lol!)

At the end of the day, everything went great and I had my sea bass and grilled saba! Really...unforgettable! Now I need to make surfing happen! :)

Hearst Castle "The Enchanted Hill"

I've long heard of Hearst Castle but never quite got the interest nor opportunity to visit until last weekend. I guess there's some truth in that when you live like you're dying, you really seize all the time you have. I have exactly 31 days to leaving the USA and I'm just trying my best to maximize my experience, particularly the weekends.

So last Saturday, Jennifer and I headed to Hearst Castle at 7am from Santa Monica. The castle was a mix of historic architectural styles that William Randolph Hearst admired in his travels around Europe when his mom brought him on a 1 year tour when he was 10 years old.

I learned a couple of things in this trip - besides learning about European architecture-

Lesson #1: If I ever have my old kid(s), I will definitely want to bring them on an extended trip to open their eyes to the world. Maybe something like a decadent decade experience every 10 years.

10 years old - when kids are soaking in the world

20 years old - when kids are still in college and willing to stick with you

30 years old - when kids are possibly newly married/ setting up their own family

40 years old - when they can bring their kids and I get to travel with my grandchildren

50 years old - when this is possibly my last big trip with them before the realities of life (aging) takes its toll

I recall how a portfolio manager and his family lives not in a mansion but in a boat in Hong Kong, and then the same one in Singapore. He related that the kids have learned so much about life - teamwork, communication, compromise, family support etc. in a small cabin space. They then sail around the world on their boat - very cool right? :)

Some of the A-list guests in Hearst's days consisted of Hollywood and political elite like Charlie Chaplin, Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Churchill. But after Hearst passed away, Hearst Corp donated the estate to the State of California and millions of people have visited Hearst Castle every year.

Lesson #2: Dreams are meant to be shared. Dreams also do come true if you work hard enough for it.

Given that we were not that far from the famous PCH elephant seals, we drove to let Jennifer catch a glimpse of these huge seals! The first time I saw them was when I went for the Gilroy Garlic Festival - never thought I'd get a chance to come back again. It's a really nice feeling. :)

Then we stumbled upon another nice discovery! The World Famous Pea Soup Place! lol.

Surprise begets surprises. We then stumbled upon another really cool place! Solvang- the Danish Capital of the USA, as I later wikipedia-ed and discovered!

Given that most shops have already closed by the time we got there (6+pm), I'll probably want to go back again in the day time if there's a chance and try the Danish pastries, Belgium waffles etc. haha....byebye organic detox!! lol.

Live Like You're Dying - Who do you think of when you hear this song?

Live Like We're Dying Lyrics

Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

[ Chorus: // We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying // ]

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

[Chorus]

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..

[Chorus]

You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

[Chorus]

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..

[Chorus]

Malibu // Career advice 101

Just had dinner with GCD at Gladstone, Malibu - a seafood place perched on the beach in Malibu. Lobsters, shrimps, mussels, calamari, fish, cerviche, oysters (yes, I finally had my 2nd raw oyster and actually liked it!), gosh - it was a feast. Bad for my organic detox, but more than a feast for the belly, it was a feast for the brain.

It's at times like this (which happens so often here in my company) that I feel like all the trials and struggles I've been through are worth it. There's so many outstanding people here at work whom I've known and learned so much from that I've also hopefully matured into a better person over the past 2 years.

Career advice 101:

1) Always look for what you are good at, instead of thinking of where's the best place to be at

2) Never stop learning: the day you're not learning enough, ask for/ make a change

3) Look for ways to cross-pollinate and add value, think of your competition and look for ways to differentiate yourself

4) To develop, think growth, not costs - don't develop the Post Office Syndrome (getting trapped in silly policies)

5) Use analogies to communicate ideas - E.g. Co. as the Big Tanker - slow but powerful, massive hiring as drinking 8 shots of vodka - you feel great while at it but have a terrible hangover thereafter

Southern California (SoCal) really is a wonderful place and I'm so lucky to be living a few blocks from the wonderful Santa Monica beach/pier. I know I'll look back on my life years down the road and be grateful that I took up this challenge... even though I admit that the journey's not been easy and life's been fairly lonely...

Anyway, I always try to make the best of everything. So when Jason came, we took the chance to soak in as much beauty as we can. We visited Zuma beach, one of the top beaches in Malibu and the Leo Carillo beach (SoCal's #1 beach with amazing tidepools, sea caves, dramatic cliffs and sheer beauty) -

Given that it was Father's Day, my sister/previous landlord Maria invited me over to her place to celebrate Father's Day in what was a surprise party for Jack. Suddenly, life doesn't seem so bad. ;)

Friends are Friends forever. Congratulations LPY!

I'm an uber loyal person, and like to think of myself as a pretty good friend. But in recent days, I've been reminded how fortunate I am to have very loyal, amazing friends too - dear blessings who take the time to stay in touch. :)

My darlings - Yes, we'll make our Sex & The City dream vacation happen!

Jiemei - Happy Birthday! We're far apart but I really do feel close to you at heart! Sworn too, and your reminiscences of our RJC times!

Sue - I wished so badly I could spend time with you in Singapore but sadly I'm not able to make it back...

Faith, Mariko & Pei'En - Folks I would never have gotten to know/ reconnect with if I had not come to the USA

LPY! This post is also specially dedicated to you - It was really nice waking up this morning to your voice... CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FIRST CLASS HONORS! I couldn't be more proud of you! :) Really very happy for you!

? - to represent people I didn't get to include and also the future friends to come. Emm, maybe bf/ hubby too? Lol! Come on... *winks*

Sometimes distance does make the heart grow fonder. It takes effort to show that you care and look out for one another. :)

Getty Museum - an architectural gem

My friends know that I'm constantly on the go - doing/ learning something or having something that challenges me. I can't sit still and just do nothing. So it literally pained me that the weekend after my CFA exam was somewhat uneventful. I learned that sometimes, people disappoint/ life happens and it's not a good idea to build your house on shaky sand.

The weekend after that (which was last weekend) was pretty neat - Jason finally made it to LA and we went to the Getty Museum last Saturday (19 June) -

It was really nice, and intellectually stimulating with all the stuff I learned about the Renaissance period.

Weekends should be like this! :)

The longest day in the year

June 21 - the first day of the summer solstice. It's really refreshing seeing JC Physical Geography come to life with the 4 seasons in the USA. Today's the longest day in the year - the rest of daylight during summer will just get progressively shorter. Cool.

Today's also Day 3 of my 2 week detox but because I had existing lunch and dinner plans, the detox is not working!! :-( 我必须坚持下去！