So much to do...

Not a lot done. Sometimes I wonder if I'm pushing myself too much. It's a double-edged sword right..because on one hand, it's like life is so short, I want to do the most I can and get the most possible out of it. But on the other hand, because life is so short, I feel like I should be out in the sun, spending quality time with people who matter to me, making an impact and leaving a legacy etc. instead of striving and dating Excel spreadsheets and books for most part of the day. (I still like to read though- I think reading a good book is like having a great conversation with a really bright person that I don't always get to meet) :P

But then... it's like I've committed 2 years of my life to this program that I'm now in - living and working alone overseas, and I want to make sure I'm a better person by the end of these 2 years. I want to make these one of the finest 2 years of my life (especially since age is one those fine things that goes up and never quite comes down :p) So I do my best I can at work, look for opportunities to really add value, try to build up professional/ personal knowledge and awareness, get closer to God, volunteer in the community, hang out with new friends, explore and see the world... And needless to say, it ends up packing for a sardine's life.

Sometimes people tell me, "You're pushing yourself too hard. I feel you should relax abit..stop and smell the roses" and I agree... to a certain extent. But at times, I also feel like I am smelling the roses- it's just that maybe our roses are different. Sometimes, this set me going on a little neglect which may end up breeding great mischief as the world keeps spinning and work keeps swelling. (if you think about it...if work never ends, why bend backwards to finish it?) Most times honestly, I hardly feel stressed out with all that I'm doing cos' I'm enjoying it. That's just the way I am- Leisure time is for doing something useful. That could too much of a utilitarian way of looking at things, but I don't think that is something to be frowned upon. For example my love for photography is useful in enriching myself, gaining new perspectives etc. My hanging out with friends is useful for staying connected, building relationships, being challenged and humbled etc.

But at times when there are deadlines to meet, I invariably end up questioning myself (like now!) on what my purpose is in life. We can go on a philosophical debate about a purpose-driven life but that's not for now. Random muses. Now back to my spreadsheet... -_-"'