On slowing down... & asking the Big Questions

Yesterday, YJ (my sis's bf) said something which made me ponder. While he was packing his luggage, he mentioned, "You know, we've never had a chance to really treat this house like a home. Like read, check emails, slow down and just enjoy spending time at home."

I thought that statement was profound. I thought about my past year here in the USA. I've moved house 4 times and with my bucketfuls of to dos, to studys, to meets, to visits and to hosts, I've not had time to really treat my house like a home.

So today, it's Boxing day - the 2nd best day of the year to shop in the USA (after Black Friday) but I've spent the entire day at home- cleaning, packing, reflecting on life and what matters, and setting aside time to ask the big questions.

I just realized I haven't posted photos of my (no-longer-new-place) at North Hollywood so here you go! :-) alongside photos when I caught up with Sworn and her boy for a smashing Boxing Day dinner. Time really flies...this is the 2nd consecutive year we are spending "Christmas" together in USA! 青春不留人啊。。。makes it even more important to ask the big questions in life.

The way gentlemen act

Was invited to Happy Hour with PGH today. We spoke about life, relationships, and the art of being a gentleman. He was a gentleman true and blue. I've never had a guy stand up while a lady leaves and joins a table (say, if she heads to the washroom). Then of course there's the door opening, the car door handling, the standing on the outside of the road, the gentle/attentive seat pulling/pushing.

He spoke about the gentlemen conduct when we were discussing domestic violence. He said, "Lifting a fist was not part of it." I was curious about what other things were common knowledge and decided to google it. (interesting weblink)

He also said the sooner men learn to be gentlemen, the more they stand to gain out of it. "Especially when younger men aren't as "chivalrous" compared to older men", I quote. If a younger fella in his twenties does something like standing up when a lady leaves the table, he clearly makes himself stands out. (that was what happened when his son landed a job over dinner with a whole table of bright young men interviewing for the same position) I thought about my own experience with guys and agreed in a heartbeat that the first guy in my life I had some butterflies for still remains quite special up to this day because he was a gentlemen, true and blue. And that was when we were 16 .

I think there's just a certain charm that comes with age. But not just charm; I think a lot also has to do with wisdom. PGH is soon set to retire, and I think he just wants to mentor as many people as he can - to make an impact in the lives of others.

On an aside note, he also discussed the fragility of relationships and how he had messed up in his younger days. He shared a lesson and the takeaway was that when you mess something up, there is a possibility you can still be friends. But when that happens, things will not be the same. Very true. I can get over stuff, but the offender will not be appreciated in the same light again.

Reflections in Life

Returned from Peru last week and been swamped with all sorts of work and trips with younger sister visiting. Today, I received a sobering email from my mom abt one of our relatives passing on. He had collapsed at the corridor of his HDB flat.

It is at times like this that the fragility of life comes in at full force as a stark reminder that someday, the dance will stop. It is just one of those inevitable laws of nature that once we are born, we have to die. Many times I think that's unfair - but that's because honestly, I'm scared of dying. I don't want to be subjected to the fury of the fumes nor have creepy crawlies eat me inside out. Yes, I know I'll be dead, and probably not feel anything. But can anyone ever know?

Then there are the people we leave behind. The dreams and regrets that will forever hold their peace. I don't know what to feel about these. Except it is just what it is. I will not be the first to go through it. And probably won't be the last.

I was lying in bed asking myself, "What makes a good life?" I found the answer right there, in my very own room:

1. The Fan said... "Chill out, stay cool"
2. The Roof said..."Aim high"
3. The Window said..."See the world"
4. The Clock said..." Every minute is precious"
5. The Mirror said..."Reflect before you act"
6. The Calendar said..."Schedule time for who & what matters"
7. The Door said..."Push hard for your goals"
8. The Bolster said..."Give hugs and receive them"
9. The Heater said..."Be warm-hearted and find the warmth in life"
10. The Cellphone said..."Seize the opportunity to tell people how much you love them. Communicate, communicate, communicate."

Even the tiny mosquito buzzing in the corner reminds me that the smallest thing can make a difference. And to top it off, I think it's most important to live a purpose-driven life.

** Nearly *** pickpocketed!

Am in Lima now - the most dangerous city in Peru and omg, sis n bf were both nearly pickpocketed! We were in a shop and both were at different ends of it.

At my sis´s end: she was comparing the size of a dress in front of the mirror...then 2 women came in front and behind her to look at their tops...in actuality, they were using the tops to block the view of my sister and then opening her camera bag...

In the meantime....

At YJ´s end: another guy was opening one of the zips of his backpack.

So the 3 were in cahoots.

At the end? - 4 zips and a secure clip were opened in less than 1 minute! These people are really PRO mann... Thankfully, my camera which was normally in those places was in my pocket at that point in time. Phew! The thing that irked us the most was they actually felt their bags being pushed around but they thought it was the jostling of people around them that was knocking their stuff accidentally. Just imagine if we had lost something and we could pin-point it to exactly when it happened, but only much later. I think we would have driven ourselves mad.

Lesson learned: Never be trusting. Never let your guard down, esp. with time - Familiarity breeds complacency!

hOla from Lima!

Just arrived in Lima and had dinner (super fresh cerviche!) at this really atas restaurant perched on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean at Miraflores. :) Life feels good! We also got ourselves super nice accommodation in a Lima republican style mansion that is...beyond words. After 5 days of ¨cha4 cha4¨ food, weather and accommodation in Cuzco, it is really nice to be able to pamper ourselves. :) More to come lateR! :)

Thought of the day: Have a happy spirit - you only live once. - Fidel, taxi driver in Cuzco

Hola from Peru!

Holaaaaa!! I´m now in Peru- the internet connectivity isn´t fantastic but the people more than makes up for it. My sister, YJ and I started off in Lima and went to Cuzco, Ollaytaytambo and Machu Picchu (rightly deserving a spot as one of the seven wonders of the world) in Agua Calientes. More to come when I get back to Los Angeles. :)

Santa Barbara Escapade

In the midst of getting my Brazilian photos organized, I took the chance to get the Barbara pictures sorted too. That's Santa Barbara, really- a nice coastal town about 2-3 hours drive away from Los Angeles. It reminded me a lot of Temecula, but with more tourists I guess.

The people that went with me are folks closest to me in my company. 2 from China (YW & Chao), and 1 from Pakistan (Tal). I am starting to see a trend that there's really something that bonds Asians together. I don't like to say "Culture" because that's a hodgepodge of many things but until I can find a more eloquent way to describe it, let's just use it as it is.

I'm the "Do-er" in the group - pushing for things to happen. Like weekend trips, outings, birthday celebrations, you-name-it. Many times all of us have good intentions and we think about things, but nothing really happens until you DO it. Maybe that's why Nike's tagline is so successful. :p

So the occasion for the trip was ... nothing much - just felt like it was time for all of us to get-together after I had spent months on my CFA, hosting people and all. But I guess there WAS something special -> It was Chao's birthday - giving me the perfectly legit case for blocking time off everyone's very busy calendar.

We went to museums, lookout points, wineries, the famous Stearns Wharf pier, had dinner in the middle of the ocean with the gorgeous sunset across the horizon. It was one of those times where I sigh - wishing loved ones was with me, but also appreciating that soaking in the beauty was one of the reasons why I'm in the USA for. To be excited, challenged, marveled and pushed to grow.

We eventually ended up in my house with a CHEESECAKE FACTORY ICECREAM CHEESECAKE! OOOOH LAAA LAAAA...the round cake was only 10-15cm wide at max but was worth every penny of the USD$40 we spent on it! :)
Sweet times don't always last; but they're there for you to savor while it does.

Crazy Black Friday!

Updates**: Photos from New York (Oct 29) and Brazil (1 Nov) have been updated in posts below. Do click on links above or scroll down to view. :)
-------------------------
It is THE time of the year for the BEST shopping in USA. Black Friday- the day after Thanksgiving. I was feeling really tragic initially when I overheard someone say this in passing on the train "Food & Love are the most important things, the rest will sort themselves out." It saddened me that I was going to spend Thanksgiving alone this year without any "love" (friends/ family) and without "food" (turkey/pumpkin pie etc.)

But then, in my melancholy, I stumbled upon countless websites (pls click) - testimony to the fact that Black Friday online sales has begun!! One of the cool things I discovered is this Livescribe Pulse pen- & I am very tempted to buy it over any iPhones n iTouches that I was targeting... :) It would really help save lots of time at work in my truckloads of meetings! I think this Black Friday is probably going to move even a hermit shopper like myself to splurge some dollars!

Pot of Gratitude

It's one of those days that I spent 3 hours cooking... and of all things I chose to cook, it was 绿豆汤！ It reminds me so much of home. :)

But being practical me, I would not have spent 3 hours cooking for myself (just isn't 'productive' from a Return on Investment/ Time standpoint). Instead, my partnership with the stove was for my landlord (Hagop), his wife (Maria) and little princess (Salpi) who's graduated from milk formula into adult food fare. :)

We recently celebrated both Princessita (she's 1!) and Hagop's birthday (which was REALLY cool):

This family means so much to me - it would not be an exaggeration to say I'm loving LA more and more because of them. I am so grateful to have them as my surrogate family here. They have showered me with so much love, warmth, kindness and sweetness of humanity that I will always feel indebted to them. :) For the first time in my life, I feel like if anything does happen to me in the USA (touch wood!), someone would actually know. As what Uncle B always says, "人气 is very important when you are living overseas... make sure you live with someone." I think I've just stumbled upon the perfect solution.

The Unexpected- Brazilian Adventure!

Brazil has turned out to be infinitely more challenging, weather-crimpling and expensive than was originally expected. I hope the rest of the week works out better...

// So it's 2 weeks since I got back from Brazil. While I was in the experience, I don't remember enjoying it quite as much as the photos (below) seem to depict it; but in retrospect it was a great trip. It would have been worth the visit even to get a feel of what the Brazilian economy commands. What more with it winning the title to host the 2016 Olympics and having my sis with me.



This has been a trip I longed for since college days. For my student exchange, grad trip, overseas job posting...None eventually materialized. So I made a promise to myself when I took up my current job offer that I would visit Brazil and Peru before I get posted out of the USA. Feels good acting on that, finally.

Desperation drove me to seek out Couchsurfers who reassured me that it was OK traveling in Brazil alone... Gratefully so, my sis decided to join in and so started our 2nd Latin American Adventure together (after Cuba in 2007) :)


I see Brazil is a land of wonder and great diversity. I got to witness for myself the immense economic potential of this great country and the population tailwind many companies would die to have a slide of. But it made me wonder whether this self-sufficiency and lack of English proficiency could impede enjoyment for the many who will soon flock to this country - as do all places who host the Olympics experience.

Nonetheless, Brazilians are a warm-hearted, fun-loving bunch - so smiles, kisses and hugs could well be the best language of all.


In planning a spontaneous travel, things sometimes don't get planned till the last minute. Traveling is the best litmus test for relationships- they say. My sister and I almost didn't get to go to the Iguassu falls but thankfully, we managed to.

Lesson learned: "The power of money is when it can be used to solve problems". It echos another view I have always held: "是钱的问题就不是问题”.
In a surprisingly short amount of time (2days), we covered 3 countries! - Brazil, Argentina and Paraguay! They reminded me of the Golden Triangle where I visited 3 countries in 2 days too! - Myanmar/ Burma, Thailand and Laos. I love visiting developing countries- I feel that there's much character to the place and people. Having said that, I do hope to visit Eastern Europe/ Europe next spring. :)

Rainbows- they've always meant something EXTRA special to me. Because of a unique person I met. They remind me of covenants. So it was really awesome to be seeing rainbows e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. :) It was actually a magical feeling- I felt like a Carebear riding rainbows.

Iguassu Falls is one of the 7 natural wonders of the world, and very legitimately so. It consists of 275 falls along 2.7 km of the Iguassu River. (275 leh...no joke!) . The Devil's Throat (Garganta del Diablo), a U-shaped cataract, is the most impressive of all, and marks the border between Argentina and Brazil. (Two thirds of the falls are within Argentine territory.)

Foi (my sister) wanted to take a tour but we soon figured (& happily so!) that we could manage the trip by ourselves. In doing so, we saved some cash and pocketed a great deal of adventures + the thrill of surprises - which to me, is what traveling is about. To be excited, to explore, to be challenged.


The Brazilian side of the falls (pictures below) was more panoramic (felt like a larger version of Niagara Falls from the USA side) but we really had most fun on the Argentinian side (photos above with the rainbows) where we got REALLY wet. Of course, we elected to be wet by riding the boat INTO the falls; but we also got wet walking along certain trails which brought us right NEXT to the thundering waters. :)

Our safari-river-waterfall adventure ended before we even knew it. After 2 days, it was time to get back to THE reason why we went to Brazil - Rio de Janeiro.

We did not get to join in the world famous Carnaval this year (that happens in Feb/Mar), but we got a feel of how the celebrations must be like. The Brazilians at a local samba school we went to (turned out to be the TOP samba school this year) simply lived and breathed passion and energy.

I was also reminded of my Samba Masala friends in college, and the experience we've had grooving to Brazilian beats. Those have been great memories. It's a pity friends don't always stay as friends when deeper emotions come into the picture.

We took advantage of the blue skies and bright sun the next earliest day we could to cover the sights of Rio. (Our first 2 days had been fairly tragic/unproductive with nasty weather)

And...no trip to Rio would be complete without a visit to Cristo (Christ!) with His outstretched arms welcoming weary immigrants in Brazil's early days.

We also went to this amazing artistic steps (Escadaria Selarón) - featuring the decades of hardwork of Selarón. He covered 250 stairs measuring 125m with over 2000 tiles collected from over 60 countries around the world. He asked for Singapore's tile. I wonder if we even have any. Maybe I can draw him one. :)

Of the 2000 tiles, 300-odd are hand painted by Selarón depicting a pregnant African woman. Selarón said it is a "Personal problem from my past". No sooner than the stairway is 'finished', Selarón starts work on another section, constantly changing it so that it is an ever evolving piece of art. No wonder it has found its way into advertisements, MTVs, documentaries etc. :p
Selaron's story is pretty cool - He was born in Chile but traveled, lived and worked as a painter and sculptor in over 50 countries before arriving in Rio. Many times, his phone was cut off and he was threatened to be evicted from his house due to being unable to afford the living costs. He sold many paintings and accepted donations from locals and travelers to continue his work. Selarón has claimed to have sold over 25,000 portraits, all featuring the same pregnant woman which mostly funded his work. (We bought 3 of his portraits!)

Our 1-day exploration of Rio's famous sites culminated in soaking in the sunset at the Sugar Loaf (Pao de Acucar). It was a surreal experience seeing how the mountain, waters and city came together in a dazzling dance as the night brought twinkling starlight.

Another reason why Rio has intrigued me for years is because it has always been cited as the classic case of favelas (slums)/ urban sprawl and the income disparity between the rich and poor. Given that the favelas are mostly operated by drug lords, we were advised to explore the favelas only on a group tour. In my opinion, I might opt not to do that the next time because the favelas actually are safer than the "outside" world as drug lords want favelas to be crime-free/ safe so that it does not give the police reasons to enter the favelas.

We then went to explore Centro- the CBD of Rio, and ventured into the CCBB Centro Cultural Banco de Brazil - which was an arts center that felt like our Esplanade minus the waterfront. There, we came across this wish-making booth that seemed to be quite popular in Brazil. You wear bands of colored ribbons around your wrist (like friendship bands back home) and when they are worn down/ break loose, your wish would supposedly come true.

We spent our last night in Brazil partying at Lapa - where the famous Arcos de Lapa (Lapa Arches) stands proudly illuminated against the darkness that conceals pickpocketers, drug peddlers and other petty criminals. I don't have any photos of that here as we only brought Foi's camera along (so in case one gets mugged, the other has a back-up camera).

Our last day was spent exploring one of the obvious gems of Rio- the beaches. Copacabana and Ipanema were the only 2 beaches we went to but they were enough proof of the beach culture that was pervasive in Cariocas and foreigners alike. Sis had a good time shooting (photos wise...what were you thinking...?) the ladies in dental floss bikinis... :pPpPp

2 trips to 2 of my "to-go" places (Brazil & Peru), visiting 2 world wonders (Iguassu Falls & Machu Picchu) in 2 weeks (1 week each) within 2 months (Nov & Dec) with 2 of my sisters. Double trouble sometimes give > double the fun! ^_^