Friday, November 14, 2008

OMG!! DD is the next advice

So my hunch was right.

She is now together with him.

It's weird when I have to ask to find out when anyone could have guessed. So last piece of advice- DD: Date Defensively (not like people hot in the fervor of "love" listen anyway). In the beginning of dating, when the love, infatuation and romance is out in full force, there is a strong desire to move closer and deeper as quickly as possible. The danger in this is that you barely know the true person you are dating. So it's a good idea to date defensively. Don't let basal animal instincts cloud both 理性 & 感性。

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What is love? The following sentence "We love because He first loved us" always pops into my head before Corinthians's “Love is patient, Love is kind..." does. Actually when you think about it, that sentence is really applicable in real life. In any relationship, there's always got to be a person to initiate interest first. The other party, no matter how stone-hearted, will observe what the initiator says/ do and at some point, feel touched/ loved and at least it's off to a good observatory start. The rest is corollary if 3 basic factors (*see below) come into play. This is where 感情 vs. 感动 ought to be distinguished- although there's often a lot of the latter in the former. But that alone isn't enough to sustain a relationship.

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Which brings me to the next question, what are the basic factors*? I call it 天时,地理,人和。And of the 3, the most important one in my opinion, would be 天时。Sometimes 2 people really appear like a perfect fit- wavelength, interests, habits and attraction- but things just don't work out because the timing is wrong. Maybe she came too late. Or he came too early. People tell me you need to date a few people so you know the right one when he/she comes along. That could be right. But a bigger part of me feels you don't want to date random people- what if the right one comes along?

Interestingly, I actually told someone he came too late. What was I thinking back then? How can anyone be too late if I'm still single and not at my prime? -_-"' I could use some bullets.

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Most of my close friends already know of my 5 Cs or perhaps even the extended Cs. They are the Characters, Charismas, Competence, Confidence, Chemistry- the Courteous, Compatibility, Cultured. But really, as I grow (hopefully) wiser, Commitment reigns high on the list. Which is why even when I finally see someone as my prototype of an ideal half, I know this is not going to happen. As with all tragic love stories, it's got to do with 天时。。。。。

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